In the News

Today there was a murder-suicide at the AFB... It's all over the news, but the names have not been released...and will not until tomorrow evening, at the earliest, according to Air Force policy.

But I know who he is... This guy was crazy - absolutely crazy. I knew he was - I tried to tell people, but they wouldn't listen. They just shook their heads and said there was no way. He's too good of a guy...he couldn't do that. Leave him alone...

But he did - He waited until his wife left and then he killed them. In cold blood. He shot his own 8 year-old daughter and 4 year-old son. Then the coward shot himself.

He never faced justice for anything he did - people always let him off. And now when no one could save him from yet another situation he created, he shot himself. I'm sure to avoid justice.

You want my opinion why he didn't shoot the mom (but did the kids) even though he had access, was so mad at her, and wanted the kids in the divorce? Because he knew he couldn't have them and wanted her to suffer...

And tonight, she suffers... Not that listening to me now will do any good...

Tonight, I'm just beside myself - a multitude of emotions I don't quite have grasp of, currently summed up by, "angry, guilt-stricken, and broken." I wish I could interrogate him now...

Why can't people just listen to reason? And why do abused women keep coming back?
(These are rhetorical questions...please don't send me answer messages).

And this one goes out to Tonya... in Israel!

A few weeks ago, I was "chatting" with Tonya via yahoo messenger - Isn't technology great!??!?! As we were discussing future plans for her and Brent's return to Oklahoma after about 6 months away, I did not realize I knew something Tonya didn't know...

As I made a solemn vow to Tonya that Kris and I (and whomever else wanted to go) would take her to the new Chipotle in Edmond (OKC metro) upon her return, Tonya lost her mind... For those of you who don't know, there is a large Chipotle following in Oklahoma who go out of their way to go to Chipotle every time they are in Texas.... No one had told Tonya they built a Chipotle in Edmond while she was gone! Even during the months of building - no one told her!

So I not only promised to take Tonya to a Chipotle in the OKC metro area, but also to take pictures and send her an electronic Chipotle meal...

Well, we forgot to take the camera when we went for the first time - so we had to make a second trip this Saturday night after Shabbot. (Saturday's are my diet cheat days).

So Tonya - this one goes out to you! Proof there is a Santa Claus - I mean Chipotle...in Edmond.

(Arrival...Chipotle by night)

(See, we didn't pull this picture off the internet, we were there!)

(Kris sends you a fajita burrito...see chipotle cup? Not a fake chipotle burrito!)


(I send you steak tacos - they were out of chicken...again. See, I also have a chipotle cup and paper...)

(Leaving...the Edmond Chipotle sign - in Hampton Village [whatever that is])

There you go Tonya - tacos and a burrito send to you with love...via internet travel.

Building my Body for Life - (Updated Weekly)

Congratulations! You all are my accountability... I started a "new" diet/exercise plan about 2.5 weeks ago - it's a 12 week program called "Body For Life."

Each week, I'll update this with my progress - big time accountability, I know. Not that any of you would really hound me, but the fact that I have to publicly tell everyone...well, it will kinda take care of itself.

I'm not a big "cheater" when it comes to stuff like this; I'm usually really good when I've set my mind to something. However, I plan to do this for my 12 weeks and then maybe start another 12 week session depending on how it's going - and once I finish it once or even halfway, I start psyching myself out of how much time it's taking vs how much progress... But I'm losing body fat and building lean muscle!!!!

Ok, so here we go - Progress:
Week 01: -1.5 lbs
Week 02: -3 lbs (+ cardio levels .5 mph)
Week 03: +.5 lbs
Week 04: +/- 0 lbs (+ cardio levels .3 mph)
(The book says it is often about Week 7 before women's metabolism really kicks in and regulates [sigh] - starting to get a little discouraged)
Week 05: -1.5 lbs
Week 06: +/- 0 lbs
Week 07: - 1.0 lbs (+ cardio levels .2 mph)(pants, shirts, watch, & ring fit noticeably looser this week!)
Week 08: +/- 0 lbs
Week 09: -0.5 lbs
Week 10: +/- 0.0 lbs
Week 11: -1.5 lbs
Week 12: +1.o lbs (-7.5 lbs total)

She Really....Sucks?

I've had Shatze for just over four years. She's big, she's scary....she's a big baby!

Shatze was a "pound puppy." Home from college, I happened to be visiting an old youth group friend who was doing some "community service" working at the local animal shelter. I walked around with him for awhile making him show me all the animals while telling me about his life. Finally at the end of the kennels, there was "Sweetie" (aka: Shatze). Emaciated and shaking, there was no eye contact to be made by this 40lb dog.

Shatze was an "owner surrender," meaning she was taken from her owner, but that's about all my friend knew about her. He thought he had heard something about a puppy mill and kennels, but didn't know for sure. She was sickly skinny, wouldn't eat, wouldn't allow any attention to her, and hid in the back corner of the kennel with her back turned and shaking if you came near her. Of course, I tried to coax her to let me pet her - thinking maybe she just needed a non-threatening small female. Ummm...no. I crawled partially into the kennel where Shatze became paralyzed with fear. She didn't growl or snap at me, just zoned out and shook - then started crying.

I slowly backed out of the kennel and turned to my friend for his thoughts on her. She intrigued me. As I stood there talking to him with my back turned to her, I started bouncing a tennis ball I found at some point - probably to relieve the awkwardness of this conversation after no communication for four years (and I didn't know him that well to begin with). I guess we didn't find it important to shut Shatze's kennel since she was fear-stricken at the sight of us, but none the less, the tennis ball didn't bounce back up when I dropped it the last time.

My friend started laughing and I turned around to see Shatze sitting in her kennel looking at me, chewing my tennis ball! Bah? So, I took it back - and did it again. Once I turned my back to her, she snuck out and took it again. We played this game for a while and she finally quit going back in her kennel - then I could throw it and she'd bring it back to an extent and leave it. There was a lot more to this dog... I fell in love with her...

That's when my friend told me they had contacted the closest Doberman Rescue and they couldn't come get her because of her health, temperament, and location. So, that day happened to be Shatze's last day...unless she was adopted. I didn't need another dog - I had a terrible one already. I had a red Doberman as a kid - she was my favorite dog....

Well, obviously I adopted her...and changed her name to Shatze. (The name"Sweetie" was just...lame - and with the knowledge she may have been abused/neglected, I thought it best to change it to something that may sound similar to her, but was new). My father informed me "Shatze" meant "sweetie" or "sweetheart" in German...and she's a German breed - done.

The ride home was horrible - she cried, whined, and paced in the backseat the entire time (and still does 4 years later). I took her to the vet - they thought she was about 3 years old and had obviously had a litter of puppies recently (she was 40lbs and all teets!)

The point of this blog? Long story short, Shatze has a weird mental...thing. She curls in a tight ball and sucks her hip to go to sleep.

She opens her mouth as wide as she can and places it over her hip (action shot).

The top of her mouth goes almost all the way over to her spine and her bottom jaw covers that entire side of her underbelly. Then she sucks on it and whines through her nose until I make her stop or she decides to fall asleep.

Then she goes to sleep and her side is covered in dog slobber... It's usually this side of her body, but she will do the other side if that is the only option.

I mentioned this to the vet who looked at her hips and said he couldn't find anything wrong and that it was probably a coping mechanism she adopted from living in a tiny kennel, being weened too early, or maybe both. He also stated she would probably outgrow it with a normal home...

It's been four years and people are still mesmerized watching her do this. She completely zones out - the only way I can really make her stop is to put my fingers in her mouth. She does it no more and no less than when I first adopted her....

She has, however, gained almost 30lbs and is very social/loyal 7 year-old(?) dog who acts younger than she is. She thinks she's a lap dog and wants tons of attention. Don't mess with me or my roommate though, because she has made her loyalty pretty clear at my soccer games where she barked and snarled at anyone on the opposing team who came near me, nearly breaking her leash...and the bleachers she was tied to.

Has anyone else ever seen a dog that does this? Just curious if there are any other common theories out there because it really is just weird.

Unemployed...(sigh)

This week finds me unemployed - no-notice - that's what happens when you work kinda contract labor type stuff... One day they decide they can't afford labor and you're the one that gets cut - no notice, no benefits, no severance...

Except the crappy part of this was that I had about 3 months notice, but they stated they had gotten approval to extend me though November 2008...then they didn't follow through with the funding and told me two days after my "contract" had expired - so yeah, they owe me for a couple of days of work.

Now I'm job hunting (insert crappy tone of voice here). I applied for yet another position this morning - resume #11 sent out.

(sigh) What do I want to be when I grow up?

I've learned from my previous jobs that the things I thought I would really want to do when I was younger, I still have a desire to do (see #1 and 2 below). And the career paths I've developed as I've gotten older, I find to be unsatisfying, though they pay more. I've never been one to want a job just because it's "higher paying," but it seems that is what society tells you to do.

Of course there is a natural progression of career paths I can take from the experience gained in my current job, but I don't like the "benefits" and "benefits" are supposed to be "beneficial" right?

I don't know exactly what I want, but I do know that I don't want:
1. A 24-hour on-call schedule and an "electronic leash" (aka: company phone). When I leave work, I want to LEAVE work.
2. A job that does not pay overtime for regularly required 12-14 hour days
3. A job that involves weekends or shifts
4. A job that "requires" you to be away from home regularly
5. A job that "requires" you to move every 3-7 years

I think I might want to:
1. Teach/coach high school (everyone tells me this is ridiculous, though I think some are called)
2. Work in Health/Wellness/Fitness
3. Work for myself (doing what? I don't know).

Things I have been told that I will not consider:
1. Counseling
2. Police Officer

Things I said when I was younger, but also no longer consider:
1. Veterinarian (Didn't every kid say that?) I think I starting using this when people laughed at my #3...
2. A truck driver
3. American Gladiator (though they are making a come back)